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You guys are brave. Can't wait to meet your daughter.


Small world -- I found your blog through Moebius Stripper's blog, because I am a math person, same as her and you. But I also have an adopted daughter from China, whom we received in September 2004, at the age of 8 months old (!). I have a couple of pictures up in a recent post at my blog (just keep scrolling). Lucy is the light of our lives, and she has been the greatest blessing we've ever experienced. You are in for a terrific adventure.

We're asking the same kinds of questions about ethnicity as you. Lucy is just 18 months old now, so it'll be a while before this becomes a serious issue for her, but she already shows signs of being able to notice who looks like her and who doesn't. Our approach has been to stay active in celebrating and learning about China -- we went to a local Dragon Boat Festival celebration and to a Chinese New Year shindig, we cook lots of Asian foods, etc. -- and as Lucy grows older, we'll encourage (but not force) her to participate in cultural activities depending on her interests. We want her to be aware and proud of her heritage. Part of the reason we chose China was because *we* like China, and the culture is important to us as a family in general.

But at the same time, we want her to be who she is, a unique person in the world with a unique blend of gifts and talents and insights. So we want to encourage her to try all sorts of things. Right now she is way into the Wiggles, Elmo, and going to the zoo -- pretty typical for any 18-month old.

An important thing to look into is having connections with other CHinese adoptive families. This will be good for your daughter, so she can have play dates and make friends with other kids who came from the same background as she did -- and for you and your spouse, so you can have friends too who are going through the same sorts of things raising your kids. My wife and I wouldn't have made it this far without the help and guidance of the people we travelled with.


Hi Robert,

Thanks for your comments...good to see other Chinese-adoptive fathers around!

Moebius Stripper

Why aren't you adopting an American kid who needs a home? (Smart-ass answer for a lot of people: Why aren't you?)

Right on. I've gotten more than one person ask me why I don't cut off my (thick, waist-length, dark) hair and donate it to kids with cancer. Um, why don't they spend a decade growing their hair, and chopping it off, if they're so concerned about the kids with cancer?

Though nowadays I just mention that I'm in the bone marrow registry (true), and that's my contribution to kids with cancer, and do they have any other suggestions for how I could serve sick kids with my time and money? Shuts them right up, because more often than not...they don't.

(And - congrats on the adoption! A good friend of mine has a baby sister adopted from China, and she's loved to pieces.)


Why don't I adopte from the US you ask? Because I don't want to raise an adopted child.

Instead of so much worrying about racism, why not learn what it's like to grow up adopted?

The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier would be a good start.

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We're currently awaiting our final document from the U.S. government, which could arrive any day now. We will "be DTC" (Dossier To China) by mid-August.

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